Greetings from Gary Klugiewicz.

One of the greatest messages that I share with the people that I train all around the county is adapted from the movie, “Roadhouse.”   Patrick Swayze, the head bouncer is a rough & tumble county road house explains how to handle their “40 year old adolescents, felons, power drinkers, and trustees of modern chemistry.”   He makes the point that you have to be nice until its time to not be nice …  to his quote we have added … then you need to be nice again.

The infographic the accompanies this post make the graphic point that their is a time not to be nice.  This may include a police officer be required to use physical force to subdue a resisting or assault subject.  But this goes much further than this limited application of the concept.   Every time that persuasion fails you are required to take appropriate action.  Depending on your situation, this could include sanctioning the person in some way whether is a refusal service, disciplinary action, a school detention, or getting grounded, sanction may accompany poor behavior or decisions.   This is what we refer to as ‘the time not to be nice – exemplified by the fist.

The most important part of the quote is the first part – “You have to be nice”, followed by the last part of the quote -“and then you have to be nice again.”    Although the middle part of the quote – “until its time not to be nice” is going to happen, we need to focus on how the incident began and how it ended – the “nice” parts of any conflict situation.  The way these three parts of an incident are remembered are sometimes referred to an the Law of Primacy, the Muddled Middle, and the Law of Recency.   The beginning and end of any incident will be best remembered.  This is why in our training, we focus on beginning whenever possible with a Universal Greeting that sets up the best chance of non-escalation in the encounter and conclude with an Appropriate Close that will bring closure to the incident that hopefully provides resolution to the conflict and sets up a better atmosphere for future contact.

” Remember that you need to be nice until its time not to be nice and then you need to be nice again.”